Note: Sorry it’s been so long getting this first blog done. I have a more ‘complete’ one in the works. I should be able to get it out tomorrow.
While waiting at the gate at the PHL airport, I had ALL THE FEELINGS. Happy, sad, excited, nervous, nauseous, etc.
The overwhelming feeling, though, was fear. I had to examine the fear. It turned out not to be fear of safety (which might be logical) but rather fear of failure. What if this whole thing is nothing but Agg? What if we hate it? All this schlepping stuff around really sucks. I’m going to get really sick of being always on the move. Being away from home. Missing my own kitchen, car, my pretty things.
As my dear friends, Abbey and Jenni, were kind enough to escort us to the airport, and they can tell you, I couldn’t even hold a conversation. I was so caught up in my thoughts.
That fear piqued at the gate.
At takeoff that fear subsided and I’ve rarely seen it since. We saw and did and ate so many interesting things in Iceland. Even the ‘normal’ stuff is novel and just different enough to be exciting. Like little spoons in the lid of a yogurt.
Yes, a bit of that fear comes back, a bit, sometimes. Like when walking uphill to the bus stop with 50kg of stuff Friday morning at 330 am. It wasn’t fun. It was agg. And sometimes at night thinking about what I haven’t yet booked, planned or considered. But as I sit at the gate, ready to take off for Switzerland – most of those 50kg checked, I know that, so far at least, it’s worth it!! On to the next adventure, Switzerland!!!
3 thoughts on “Fear…..”
The rainbow of emotions I think quite normal! Love that you took the step out of the box and on an adventure for how long..who knows but you did it! Your Mom would be so proud! I know she is watching over u! Love, Nancy E
Thank you Nancy. As you know, I think of her often
You should know, Nancy, that I am now travelling with Mom’s best friend (Dot’s) daughter, Becky, and her daughter Kaitlyn. Aunt Dot passed not long after Mom. We are quite the mother-daughter foursome. We lit some candles in the Munich Frauenkirche – church of Our Lady. All four of us were in tears, but some were happy tears knowing they are together having fun, and SO HAPPY that the 4 of us are together having a good time.